"Your time is over, you pink apes, for you see, crocodiles have survived since before the dinosaurs and it is now time for them to survive past you," continued Irwake.

As the room fell silent in horror as they watched Woody's head shrivel to the size of an avocado, Irwake spoke: "Humans, I brought you here to tell you of the coming of the master race of crocodiles, who will rule this planet you call earth."

Woodrow Barnes's head began to shrink and his voice traveled up a few octaves while Irwake looked on and smiled feigning innocence.

Gunter looked at everyone in the bedroom then said "uh to hell with this I'm going back in the closet."

Recovering her wits from this intrusion, Rose wrapped herself in a sheet and arose from the bed, while proclaiming "Dr. Cuttingham, would you please put on some coffee and the rest of you get out of this bedroom while I change."

Woody Barnes (who had been enjoying buckwheat pancakes less than an hour before) came to his senses first, and he bellowed at the chaos around him: "Everyone, SHUT UP, sit down, knock off the damn lightning bolts, put the damn gopher away, get some clothes on, and did I mention SHUT UP?!!"

A black thunder cloud forming over Sugarsmith's head about the size of a sourdough loaf of bread  began striking the detectives head with tiny lightning bolts, and rain, when Irwake, muttered "Lizard breath indeed".

Keeping his eyes on Cuttingham, Gunter reached in his bag asking "you look hungry would you like some gopher?"

Finally getting his pants zipped, Dr. Cuttingham started to stalk toward the recent arrivals.

"Shut it, lizard breath," Sugarsmith said, as he turned his attention to his fiancee, who was wearing nothing more than a guilty expression and a 400-thread count Egyptian cotton bedsheet and looked like she wanted to disappear into the floor boards.

Sugarsmith  frantically dialed the police station as Irwake laughed  and said, "mortal I am in control of your phone."

Just then Gunter came out of the closet and said " Hello every buddy. "

"Sister, what are you doing in bed with a mortal," bellowed Irwake at a confused looking Rose.

Everyone was surprised by the sudden change of venue, but no one (and I mean NO ONE) was more surprised by the sudden appearance of the motley group of reptiles and men than Dr. Cuttingham, who extricated himself from Rose's sleeping embrace, rolled ungracefully out of Rose's bed onto the floor with a thump, and began fumbling around on the floor for his pants.

Sugarsmith accidentally hit speed dial for Rose and suddenly the the the whole freakish crew is standing in Rose's bedroom.

"Because your one ugly mother" said Barns.

"Bow down mortals, I am Irwake father of Crocodiles, hold it a second, why do I have a rack?" stated the creature.

"Eek," squeaked the Albino, pointing at the idol, which had, in the meantime, sprouted moving arms, legs, a snout, a tail, and an amazing double-D rack that would have impressed any connoisseur of strip clubs.

"these were brand new bucks", exclaimed barns!

They all looked around they were in a swamp as Steve said,"what the hell now?"

The albino tried to twist away from the fallen idol but could not move because of the handcuffs while muttering, "Now look what you have done, this won't turn out well.

Woody, startled at the sudden appearance of his partner, stumbled backwards into the van, knocking over the idol, which at that moment, had begun to glow a bright yellow-orange.

Sugarsmith broke the connection with Rose and punched in Woody's cell phone number and found himself standing next to his partner looking in the back of a van  and said, "What the Fuck????

The Albino said " it's magic, it's Iriwake."

Barnes looked at the albino gator man and then back at the pagan idol and said, "You can help me by explaining what that is and why it is in the back of your van."

Cuttingham took a bite of his ham sandwich and continued reading: "victim missing head, right arm below the elbow, and both legs below the knees."

"What is that horrible chomping in the background Steve " , Rose asked ?

Bob selected a tortilla chip and dipped it in salsa and said "how can I help you Detective."

As he opened the back of the van, Barnes was confronted by a statue of this figure, Iriwake, the New Guinea god of war, father of crocodiles.

Woody, by this time, had gotten the struggling Weregator handcuffed securely to the back bumper and had managed to pry open the truck's back doors so he could get a look at the cargo.

Steve exclaims,"Rose, I dialed  Mystery Bob’s Roadside Attractions and suddenly I'm here in New Mexico looking at this fat blob eating tortilla chips."

DR. Cuttingham Chief forensic pathologist was reviewing the report on the last victim, thinking that it read like a page out of a Stephen King novel.

"Well, almost every human culture has legends of shapechangers, but it has never been proven, so it is just that...legend,"answered Steve.

"Steve," Rose said, still staring at the photo on the floor, "do you believe that there are people who can turn themselves into animals or animals that can turn themselves into people?"

The forensic boys discoverd the crocodile's partially digested victim was in fact bald just like the other 8 victims.

Rose dropped the picture, grabbed the phone and called Steve.

"I shot you because in case you had not noticed, your a fucking alligator, so stay on the ground, gator boy," replied Barnes.

"Why," said the Were-gator, glowering at Barnes as he sat up and began inspecting the bruises on his scaly chest left by the bullets, "did you shoot when I was TRYING to tell you that I would come along quietly?"

Rose put down the 4th picture and a feeling of impending doom began creeping over her.

After Woody emptied his service revolver into the thing that now laid at his feet he sighed saying, "no more buckwheat pancakes."

Barnes lept back and leveled his gun right at the albino (were-crocodiles)head.

Then the really freaky shit went down: the albino's skin went from smooth and white to dark green and scaly, his human stretched into a snout, and his teeth sprouted into a sharp, pointy, reptilian (or perhaps amphibian?) grin.

The albino  convulsing violently his eyes bugging out of his head and rolling around like pink marbles falling on his tounge while  pointing to the tattoo on his neck, cried , "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhh."

After searching the albino, Barnes asked, '' what's in the back? "

Barnes yanked the albino out of the vehicle and frisked him for weapons.

The albino shrieked as the bullet grazed his shoulder, and, raising both hands in the air, he stuttered, "please don't kill me!"

Barns spotted the tattoo of a crocodile on the albino's neck and  fired his service revolver.

When Sugarsmith arrived, Bob was munching on tortilla chips, nervously looking around obviously hiding something or someone.

Woody leveled his service revolver at the driver and uttered, "Freeze Rodent".

"If they catch me, I'm as dead as a doornail," Gunter had said -- and by odd coincidence, these were exactly the same words that the albino screamed as he shifted into reverse and hit the gas pedal.

Bob, shocked to hear his nephews voice, remembered the last words Gunter muttered before the terrilble accident.

As Woody got to the truck, that had interrupted his buckwheat pancakes, the albino truck diver was trying to back out to getaway.

Dropping his fork back onto the plate, Woody rose from his seat and walked 30 feet across the restaurant, to check and see if anyone had been hurt in the crash.

Woody's fork, steaming and loaded with pancake, butter, syrup, and the end of a sausage link, was halfway to his mouth when the truck roared through the parking lot and came crashing through the front window of the diner.

Woodrow who secretly longs to be called "Woody" says to himself as he is gnawshing his second order of Ma's buckwheats, "I'm glad that sneaky dweeb Sugarsmith isn't here to see me eat this second helping of Ma's kick ass griddle cakes."

As Detective Barns,was eating his buckwheat pancakes, Steve his partner was on his way to New Mexico to talk to Bob, of Mystery Bob's Roadside Attractions, for any possible connection to the homicide they were investigating.

Rose braced herself, and flipped to the 4th photo, showing Gertie in the water with the crocodiles in close proximity.

Rose turned to the third photo, this one of only the three children -- Billy, Gunter, and their toddler sister, Gertie -- all balanced precariously on the railing of a waist-high bridge that bisected the croc pond.

Woodrow, puzzled by the cryptic phone call  from Mystery Bob’s Roadside Attractions  listened to his belly growl and wished he was at Ma's Pancake Griddle chowing down on buckwheat pancakes and coffee.

As Rose looked at the picture, the smiles on both Billy and Gunter face, disturbed her.

Rose flipped to the next picture, showing the family posing with the Sepik River tribe, renown for the intensity of their crocodile worship rituals.

The first photo showed a family of five, smiling, but standing somewhat stiffly, in front of a sign that read "Lae Hotel."

Rose pulled the horrid photos from her night stand and  gazed upon at the carnage in  New Guinea.

“Yeah-- we’ve been having a helluva time, and don’t worry... they’re being well fed.”

"You've got my crocks, do you?"

"It's really me Uncle Bob, it's getting really cold here, I need to know how to get George, Little Joe, and Ringo, back home."

"Gunter is this really you, or is this another of Billy's tricks", replied Bob.

Back in Central Park, Gunter picked Billy's slightly bloody phone from the edge of the croc pond where it had fallen, and after dialing a number in the 505 area code, he said happily: "Hi, Uncle Bob - I'm not mute anymore!"

Bob, a retired traveling carnival side show four hundred pound midget hung up the phone and went back to compulsively recounting  his crocodiles,"Abner, Mary, Dude...."

“Sugarsmith-- ” Detective Barns interrupts, "Damned-est thing -- I just got a call from some tourist trap called Mystery Bob’s Roadside Attractions off the main highway in Alamagordo, New Mexico..."

Gunther smiled with self satisfying vindication of overwhelming power for this moment, but creeping rage, revenge, and dissatisfaction, soon over took his momentary victory over Billy.

Some where deep in Central Part, as the crocodiles are feeding on the last of a young man's body all that can be heard are the giggles as Gunther says, "Billy all gone. "

"Rose, if Gunther is feeding the crocodiles, we both know that Billy has fed Gunther to them."

She continued, "but I think Gunter might be dead or hurt because Billy kept saying 'Gunter is feeding the crocodiles.'"

"The little bastard is in New York City's Central Park riding the carousel , and I think Gunter is with him! " Rose barked.

He quickly ended the call with forensics, stepped to the side, out of his partner’s hearing, and without so much as a greeting, sputtered to Rose “Where’s Billy?”

Suddenly Sugarsmith's phone is vibrating from another incoming call from Rose he sees, while thinking the worst with stomach turning but trying to remain calm, as he had on many occations, to get through the terror he felt.

As Detective Sugarsmith, was on the phone to the forensic squad, he was preoccupied with thoughts of Rose his fiancee, Dr Gottschalk and the trouble she was having with the missing teen she had been treating.

"Hey Sugarsmith, lets get those forensic boys in here and see if the victim was bald just like those other 8 stiffs", continued Barns.

"Unbelievable -- this is the ninth reptile-related homicide reported in the United States in 30 days," Barns thought to himself, shaking his head incredulously, "and now the killer is in L.A."

Meanwhile Los Angeles Robbery Homicide Detective Woodrow Barns and his partner Steve Sugarsmith are investigating what appears to be a suicide by alligator when Sugarsmith says, "If you squint your eyes just right and look at the leg sticking out of the crocodile's  mouth it looks just like he's smoking a huge corn cob pipe."

But I'm not ready to stop riding the carousel... and besides, help for what?

"I will however, get you help if you want it Billy."

Rose instinctively knew Billy was trying to play his sick game she said,"Billy I will not play this game with you again."

"Dr., did you know that crocodiles are attracted to blood and they can move faster than a man", continued Billy.

"I didn't want to hurt him, but once I started, I couldn't stop myself," Billy began, giggling a little.

  Dr. Gottschalk a well trained psychiatrist waited , understanding this call from Willem  was not a call for help but  just another intrusion into her life to brag about his latest crime.

Her mind raced as she wondered what to say next --

She had second thoughts about giving Billy her number, but giving it to him was part of her compulsive past catching her off guard.

Rose thought back to when all the trouble began.

"Billy, you and I both know that Gunter has been a mute, since your parents accidental beheading in New Guinea."

Billy gave a near-hysterical giggle and hissed, "Gunter's right here -- but let's just say that he isn't able to talk to anyone right now."

Doctor Gottschalk realizing Willhem is on the Eastern seaboard in violation of his parole, carefully asks, "Have you contacted your brother Gunther?"

After a long pause and a marked change in the tone of his voice, "In Central Park..."

"Billy, where are you and are you OK?"

Billy, Rose though, Willem White a troubled teen she had been treating for low self esteem and self mutilation.

"Dr. Rose, did you know that blood isn't red in the light of the moon, it's black ," the voice continued.

The rage behind the words came screaming through the phone and made Rose's stomach instantly curdle into a icy ball of dread.

Doctor Rose you know how hard I have been working to stand up to him and tonight I did it.

"I'm sorry. I should have waited till morning, but I just had to tell you -- I did it!"

The voice sounded somewhat familiar to her but she couldn’t quite place it, as she was still reeling from her state of twilight consciousness being awakened so abruptly.

"Who is this"? sighed Dr Gotschalk.

"Dr. Gottschalk, thank god I was able to reach you", the voice began.

All too used to having her slumber interrupted by calls from distraught clients, she grabs the phone without fumbling, hits the "answer" button, and brings it to her ear in a single fluid motion before answering crisply, "Dr. Rose Gottschalk speaking."

The black phone's shrill report pierces the thick and heavy silence of the starless night shocking Rose from her dreamless sleep.